October, 2004
... So here I am out in the woods, on my knees with my head bowed. No, not
praying. Kathy is picking burrs out of my hair after I fell flat on my face
in the nettles. Well, not too many nettles and none on my face, but really
annoying anyway and there are all these little prickly seeds that stick to
everything. They're called, redundantly, "stinging" nettles -- not poison
ivy; these sting right away. (Western Washingtonians know what they are.)
Stinging goes away in a few hours and leaves a red spot. What happened was,
I tripped over an extremely rusty (and therefore almost invisible) fence,
breaking off what passed for a fencepost at one time. We were out blazing
trees for later removal. Actually, the worst part was that the little sprayer
flipped out of the top of the spray can and we sort of had to wind up our
little excursion -- but not until we found half a dozen oak (we think)
eight-foot logs, about 30 inches diameter, on the college property. Bet
someone wants to cut them up for lumber, but they each weigh tons,
probably a rick of wood in each. They'll have to be moved when construction
starts on the Event Center in March and even though I hate to cut up
perfectly good timber like that, it's better than having it hauled to some
organic landfill somewhere or chipped into garden mulch. We'll contact the
Powers That Be on Monday.
After a supper consisting mainly of cornbread (very "patriotic"), we sat and picked more burrs out of my clothing. But it's fun to go out and rip up some timber with a chainsaw, and the price of oil and gas is probably going out of sight this winter. We'll pray for a mild winter, but we'll keep adding to the woodpile. (Note to self: Don't stick your head into the stickerbushes any more!)
-- I need a plumber's helper, or better yet, the plumber! --
My "partner" Rick Koontz and I went to a conference of "computer teachers" as we're called. Now you know, that's really odd because I can't seem to teach these computers a thing. It's like that new "fully automatic" dishwasher we have. Turned it on an hour ago and it hasn't even cleared the table yet. But as I was saying, we went to this conference in Kalamazoo, which is a smidgen more than two hours straight north of here. Very interesting stuff, but the point is that we came back before it was all over with because Rick had to coach a small-fry soccer game, and when I arrived at the house we had this small creek running through the garage. Thought the water softener had sprung a leak $$$, but no, it was higher up.The lady who lived here before had a penchant for gadgets. Guess I told y'all about removing the old hot water tank and most of the pipes for the solar "hot" water heater that was at best a warm water warmer even in July. Basic problem was that it simply had too much "stuff" (pipes, pumps, "differential thermostat", yadda yadda yadda) that had to be heated by the sun, and, of course, that we're in northern Indiana. (Probably works great in southern Alabama.) So anyway, there's also this Shaklee water purifier system that goes to the icemaker in the fridge and used to go to a spigot on the sink. One of the fittings is leaking and I can tighten it with my hand, which causes a small fountain. The whole thing is plastic and has simply cracked, and tightening the fitting just caused the crack to widen.
Not knowing how this thing works, I turn off the household water and flush the downstairs toilet to relieve the pressure. Little do I know .... The system was designed to go under a sink, but it's in the garage perched over the water softener. Perched: They took one of these swivel brackets that's for a small TV set and used it to hold up this metal tank and screwed these plastic tank things to the wall. Well, I start loosening the connection on the tank and FOOSH! I get a cold shower. What the ... ? Reckon it's a pressure tank, about a gallon big, which I proceed to empty by pointing it at the floor drain. I remove the other fittings on the other parts and don't get any more showers but now I have this plastic tube that dribbles when I turn the household water on. The water comes from a "Vampire tap", one of these El Cheapo valves that you clamp to the outside of a pipe and this steel needle penetrates the pipe. (To remove it, you have to cut out a section of pipe and replace it because now there's a hole in the pipe.) Well, it's old and it leaks even when shut off; and what's more, the icemaker no longer works because one end of its tube is now hanging loose above the water softener where this filter used to be. So we go down to Lowe's and I find the right size brass fitting to match the two tubes minus the water purifier. Somebody remind me not to put fancy plastic gadgets on the pressure side of the water system, please? I know almost nothing about Shaklee, but whenever I encounter their products something bad is happening. And our well water tastes fine right from the tap, thank you, and for our guests we keep a Brita filter full in the fridge. (Stupid needle valve is still leaking but I'll get to it one of these days.)
Had another small flood a couple of weeks later. In all my rassling around, removing that filter stuff, I managed to knock the drain hose for the water softener, out of its drain. Took a good week to dry out all the stuff that got wet from that, but all is well now, we think. Found that problem about 10:00 one evening; glad it was an easy fix.
-- Where's the Beef? In the freezer! --
We got half a beef that, other than having its vaccinations never got any antibiotics or hormones (unless you consider corn a drug) and was not fed any ground-up cow or sheep brains. Almost no chance it was a Mad Cow, and don't get me started on the antibiotics they put in the cow feed in commercial operations! Came to about $2.00 a pound and it's delicious.Reminds me of the time when the kids were small that a friend recommended this particular butcher who was really a "great guy." (Now I could make snide remarks here about, er, businessmen, but I won't.) We bought the beef through the butcher. The day it was to be slaughtered, Kathy went down to tell him how to cut it up. Here came a pickup with stake sides hauling this scrawny excuse for a calf, and she thought, "I'm glad that's not ours!" Ah, but it was! We split the beef with some friends. Now that has to be simply the worst meat we ever had to put up with, but we were poor so we ate it anyway. The friends we split it with, commented that the meat was "tallowy," like you wanted to scrape the roof of your mouth after dinner because of this coating. (I'm not making this stuff up! But I never heard of such a thing before or since.) They just found the right words to describe it, as all I could think of was "awful". I have heard that 'possum meat is like that. Also, the butcher cut off some bone with the meat and it went into the hamburger. For the next six months to a year, whenever we had anything involving hamburger, both kids would yell, "But it's got CRUNCHIES in it!" after a bite or two. We threw out a lot of hamburgers and meatloaf that year. We wanted cheaper meat and that's exactly what we got. After throwing out so much of it, I'm sure we didn't save a dime, so it was cheap, not inexpensive. I recall going down to make the last payment on the meat and the butcher said cheerily, "Got into any of those great steaks yet?" I just wrote the check and left. Probably should have asked for our money back, but we were trying not to hurt the feelings of the friend that recommended this guy, and we weren't into this "consumerism" thing. Probably our blue-collar backgrounds showing there. Some years later, we got half a beef from our friends the Farnsworths, which was indeed delicious, but we didn't use that butcher! (Also helps if you personally know the steer.) How can anyone stay in business...? I felt like running him out of town after about three months of eating the tallowy stuff and listening to the kids complain about the "crunchies." (Was it worth it not to hurt a friend's feelings? I'd say it's too close to call.) And back then, "going out to dinner" was a meal at McDonald's forty miles away and we could only afford that about once a year when we went Christmas shopping.
On a more cheerful note, we've seen lots of corn ready for harvest, at least one harvester, and semi-trailer loads of corn headed for market. Soybeans are on the way to market also. We enjoy living in "flyover country" where the farmers feed the city folks, the ones who think that milk comes from "a factory" and would be horrified to realize that their carrots grew in dirt! And I wonder what they'd say if they ever saw exactly where eggs come from....
-- Never cut timber on a windy day! --
We've been building fires pretty regularly, inasmuch as it's officially Fall now and cool to downright frosty at night. Every time I build a fire it's like knocking about $3.00 off the electric bill. And the weight is still coming off slowly as I keep splitting wood. Kathy made an apple pie, a very Autumn activity. High temperatures vary from 50s to 70s so some days we don't need a fire.If you smell like sawdust you'll attract men. And if men smell like WD-40 they attract women. Just a theory, you understand. Had a student accompany me out to the woods to run through a tank of chainsaw gas. Something about that sawdust smell. Before he left to go back to the dorm, I told him he'd better comb the little chips out of his hair. (We threw a lot of sawdust!) But it's that combined smell of sawdust, chainsaw exhaust and deer droppings that really gets the guys enthusiastic. I saw it, they stack it. Works really well. And when we got back to the house, the fire was going and we warmed ourselves a bit before supper. Everyone seems to like the smell of wood smoke -- outside, of course. One Saturday, Kathy and I both felt ambitious and went out to cut down another half-dead tree. I notched it on the side it was leaning toward and was into the other side about the width of the bar when I heard a loud CRACK! so I jumped back and sure enough thar she went TIMBERRRRRRRRR! Conks (fungus) growing out of one side and the other side still alive. The wood isn't too bad, though. The wood was spongy from about ground level to 4 feet up, and pretty solid from there, rotting from the bottom. A tree that weak had great potential as a widowmaker, about 40-50 feet tall and 20 feet from the Physical Plant storage building. A good 50-mile wind might have taken it out Just Any Time Now. It was about 2-3 inches thicker than the length of the chain saw, so I'm glad I didn't have to struggle with it.
That same trip we ran into poison ivy. Couldn't quite believe that's what it was, with the vine about 2 to 3 inches thick at the base, growing up at least 20 feet on a tree, and leaves the size of saucers. (Actually, it could have been poison oak or sumac; I don't know the difference and it doesn't matter which it is, if you get it on your skin!) We showered thoroughly and washed all our clothes immediately when we got home. Glad we were wearing long sleeves and gloves. Got the tree bucked into stovewood lengths, but left a lot of it for me to go back and split into manageable sections; we don't need to throw our backs out of joint. It's only a five-minute walk from the house so I just carry my maul and wedges over and whack away for an hour or so each evening. And I do appreciate the new safety feature on this Poulan saw: a chain brake. If it kicks back, most likely your hand will hit the guard, which clamps the clutch just like one of these oil-filter wrenches. Simple mechanism, so simple it's brilliant. Stops the chain instantly, usually kills the engine, too. Even so, I never use the chain saw by myself; that would be foolishness. Even with the hand tools, I carry a cell phone "just in case," and try to have a student or friend Tom Miller along (Tom likes to split wood and brings his own maul and wedges.) I don't even like to solder alone....
Speaking of Tom, we had gone over and split most of the big rounds of the tree in halves or quarters (using wedges) so as to be able to rassle them onto the truck. Next afternoon, I borrowed a school pickup to bring them home and lo! and behold! the pile looked odd as I approached. The wood had been split mostly down to stove size. I suspected elves or good fairies, but about the time I got it home, returned the truck and finished stacking it, Tom called and sure enough, he had gone out for some "exercise" earlier in the day while I was teaching. That brought us up to well over 4 cords split and stacked, plus at least half a cord yet to split. Tom manages the produce department at the local Kroger store and likes to get some "real" exercise once in a while. There's a lot of "junk" on the ground and I'm hoping that the students will be able to use it for the Homecoming bonfire in a few weeks; it's fairly rotten, some of it actually soft and spongy, and not worth bringing home. Somebody asked me again if I use a log splitter; where's the fun in that? If I were in the wood business it would be different. And y'know, it's kind of funny; the other day one of the physical plant guys said how they appreciate us helping to clean up the campus. Good deal for everyone.
Had one of our favorite students and his girlfriend over for dinner. Her parents were missionaries in Mexico for some years and so she cooked us a most delicious Mexican dinner. She actually took cooked beans and made refried beans from scratch! I thought they just came in a can (like the city folks and milk). And like a typical overweight American, I chowed down just as much as the college kids. The deep-fried tortillas ("flautas") alone probably represented enough calories for the whole day. Can't describe how good it was. Good thing we went out and did some "logging" the next morning.
The other night we were jammin' to prepare for our next gig (a.k.a. practicing our jazz), downstairs in the "music room", when the back doorbell rang. That's the outside door of the music room, and there stood the neighbor boy. They had no water, so we helped them with buckets and such and told them they could come over and use our shower. They're kind of shy; parents don't speak English well at all and are kind of self-conscious about it. We communicate largely through the kids. They got their well pumping OK again but the hot water still didn't work. They had to get a plumber which they can ill afford I'm sure. After getting that cold shower in the garage, I'm reluctant to work on anyone's plumbing, even my own. But at least we're not the only ones with water problems. About a week later the neighbors had everything fixed and the lady brought us a Mexican cheesecake as a thank-you. It was delicious to say the least. With the Mexican immigrants, I always think of my own grandparents who struggled to learn English and for whom America was so much better than what they left in Russia. And I also see many similarities in my mother's stories of her childhood and the way these Mexicans' kids are learning to adapt. The culture shock is tremendous.
If we can arrange the time, which is always a challenge, we may have a jazz singer for our next gig. Her name is Crystal and she has sung leading parts in productions like Oklahoma! at the college. Had a great jam session with her. She even knows some of the oldies (pre-1950) and picks up the others really quick. Beautiful voice. She wanted to do a jazz recital last year but couldn't find an accompanist; too bad we didn't get hooked up earlier. But she won't be graduating for another year at least, being a Music Education major which normally takes 5 years. For our gig this month, we had Ron, the guitarist, with us. (Ron's wife plays saxophone. I wonder....) Crystal has play rehearsals nearly every afternoon for, um, "The Importance of Being Ernest" I think it is. Not a musical, but she loves comedy, too. (Y'know, we should call the music room the "conservatory". Wouldn't that be high class? "Mr. Gray did it with the electric bass in the conservatory!")
Got an E-mail from a fourth-plus cousin that indicates my great-great-something-grandfather may have been in the Revolutionary War. That was interesting, inasmuch as I thought the whole shebang consisted of recent immigrants, like after 1800 anyhow. Maybe I'll pursue that -- sometime after I retire, assuming I still have all my marbles. (Not sure I have them all now....) She followed up with a document that's a copy of an affidavit from said ancestor, telling about some battles and military life such as it was.
Near the end of October, several really nasty little computer viruses came around but they don't affect Windows XP with Service Pack 2. If you don't have it (either XP or Service pack 2 for it), it's time to get it! (If your computer is over 3 or 4 years old, XP may not work so well so wait until you buy a new computer.) Read in the paper that something like half the computers in the country are unprotected. Some folks have, if you can believe it, over 700 viruses and hundreds of "spyware" programs on their computers. And they complain to the computer store where they bought it, that it's running slowly for some reason. Miracle it runs at all! Keep your powder dry and as I say all the time, keep your firewall and antivirus programs up to date. Once a week is adequate for the antivirus updates; mine is set to automatically go out and "ask" for them from Symantec ("Norton"). And get an anti-spyware program like Ad-Aware.
So the end of the month finds me one Friday evening on top of an upside-down wheelbarrow, sort of seesawing back and forth over the wheel on my stomach, where I couldn't quite get ahold of anything solid so I could get up. Kathy came around from the other side of the truck and thought I must have broken something. Nothing hurt but my pride. Only a few burrs in my hair. Never did like wheelbarrows, but I was bringing the last load out to the truck when the wheel hit a root and I went head-over-wheelbarrow, dumping the wood, and the wheelbarrow just kept going over with me on top of it. It was dark enough that the street lights had come on and I didn't see how big the root was. Oh, well. Next morning we went back out and cut up timber for about two hours before a much-ballyhooed (on the Weather Channel) rainstorm moved in. Got two good truckloads out by 10:30. Started bucking a huge downed tree that still had some living shoots growing out of it but a rotten stump. I'm leaving a couple of the big branches where vines have grown up and looks like a "nest" or thicket that the deer have been using. And the base of the tree and the stump are full of bugs, mostly carpenter ants, that probably weakened it enough that the wind brought it down. I'm leaving the ant-infested part out in the woods. At least one more truckload in there. Another two hours of decent weather and I'll have it cut up if not hauled out. Sometime earlier, I took my lineman's pliers over and cut out the section of rusty fence that I had tripped over before so we could get the wheelbarrow through. (It was this sort of mesh that they used before chain link became popular, not barbed wire.) Got out the trees I had blazed and a few more in addition. (Turned out those nice oak logs actually belong to somebody.) This might be the last winter those deer have habitat there, as we're still working where the new Events Center will be, provided that the Feds don't move the "wetlands" boundary any closer to the woods on one side and they don't find any more hazardous waste (asbestos I think) on the other side where the No Trespassing signs are.
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